C.T.R.C. YOUTH SATURDAY WITH PASTOR MARC SIMEON
For Saturday June 19th 2021
HOW TO AVOID TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS
2Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
Psalm 1:1 ¶ Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
Proverbs 4:14 ¶ Do not enter the path of the wicked, And do not walk in the way of evil.
10 ¶ My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent. 11 If they say, “Come with us, Let us lie in wait to shed blood; Let us lurk secretly for the innocent without cause; 12 Let us swallow them alive like Sheol, And whole, like those who go down to the Pit;13 We shall find all kinds of precious possessions, We shall fill our houses with spoil; 14 Cast in your lot among us, Let us all have one purse” 15 My son, do not walk in the way with them, Keep your foot from their path;
DEFINITION OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP
- A toxic relationship is when you are associated with people who will eventually influence you in a negative way.
- A toxic relationship is one that leads its victims in a down spiral spin.
- We add people in our lives for completion, but in a toxic relationship, we end up much less of a person than we started before befriending certain people.
- In a toxic relationship there is no mutuality, there is always a victim and a villain.
- In a toxic relationship, love and acceptance are conditional on performance.
- Example of some toxic relationships.
- The so called friend who cannot care to return your phone calls.
- The friend who will not return the money or items that you loaned to them.
- The friend who constantly criticizes your family.
- The friend who make fun of your shortcomings even when you tell them that you are hurt by that.
- The friend who is embarrassed to introduce you to their acquaintances.
- The friend who break your stuffs and refuse to replace them.
- The people who tend to be your friends in private and act like your enemies in public.
- The friend who exposes all your privacies and secrets to others.
- The friends who entice you to do evil things.
- The friends who seem to have no care for the consequences of their wrongdoings.
- The friends who cannot or would not correct you when you are wrong.
- The friends who cannot celebrate your successes.
- The friends who are trying to steal boyfriend or girlfriend.
- The friends who only listen to your problems and never share theirs.
- The people you associate yourself with in order to look good in the sights of others.
- The people who seem to have no respect for God and other authorities.
- The friends who use foul languages regularly in your presence.
- The friends who do not know their boundaries:
- They would call you at anytime of the night for no real reason.
- They would come to your house, eat up everything without asking..
- They would use your staff without asking for permission.
- The boyfriend or girlfriend who flirts openly with other people even in front of you.
- The friend who cannot allow you to make your own decision without their approval.
- The friend who behave affectionately toward you in ways as if they are your lover when they are not.
- I am sure that a lot of examples were left out in that brainstorm of toxic relationships, the bottom line is this: if a relationship is not enhancing who you are as Christian and as a person, it is a sign that you are in a toxic relationship.
- Some may not realize the damages that they are doing to you; in that case you need to do an honest confrontation in order set the proper boundaries in the friendship.
- If no correction occurs, then, you need to distance yourself from that person.
- The people we allow in our lives will inevitably leave a permanent imprint in our personhood both in the present and the future.
- As painful as it may be we all need to let go of some people for our own good.
- I have let go friends who could only relate to me before I became developed to the person that I am today.
- I cannot go back there just for their sake.
- I let go of friends who want to exercise a paternal relationship over me. I feel that I have much to share as everyone else and that I deserve a full seat around the table. If not, I am out, lest I forever feel inferior to that person.
- A healthy person is one who can stand alone when it is necessary to do so.
- You have the right to decide who can be in your circle and who cannot be.
- Some are too lazy
- Some are too narrow in their thinking.
- Some are too extravagant.
- Some are too loose in their moral standings.
- If you allow certain people in your close circle, it would create too much gap for you fill in order to be level with them in their social status.
- I was very vexed when someone invited me and my family to share the same table with another well known pastor who happened to be the guest speaker in that event. Because I was not as well known as him, we sat side by side without him saying a word to me. He also displayed an unwelcomed countenance of my presence at the table.
- The pastor left the table without saying goodbye or excusing himself; I cannot even watch him preach on television now without been reminiscent of that day.
- One of these days, we will meet again and I will confront him on that if the opportunity suites itself.
- I could never befriend a person like that.
- I also distant myself from well meaning people who have but love to give because of my inferiority complex, and that is another subject for another day.
- Next time, we can probably talk about weeding out your own negative self perceptions so that you would not be too fragile in your engagements with others.